Cold hands, warm shart.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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