Yo dont text me then not text me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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