check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
