Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
