It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
