now i know why i became what i already was.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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