i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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