I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
