You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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