he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
