East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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