i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
