I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She even gives head with a lisp.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
