I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
