# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Buhtt sex?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
