If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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