I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He passed out mid-signature
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
