You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
