This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize