Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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