where am i from again
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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