You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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