my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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