do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
