stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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