NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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