I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
