You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
