Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize