I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
