he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
ttyl tear gas
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
