I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
