Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
