when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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