Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
