I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The power of my boobs compel you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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