woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Vodka?
Forever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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