This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
