she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
