I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
