you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
