don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Farmville is her only friend.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
