He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I could fuck to npr.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
