Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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