ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
