Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
