I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Panties = found
Randomize
