bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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