Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
