No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
