hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
