Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
