My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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