i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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