and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
