Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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