Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
