I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
