apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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