i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize